You Can’t Change the World Until You Change Yourself
This piece was originally published as a part of the Just Progress newsletter on June 18th, 2022. To get content like this delivered right to your inbox, please subscribe.
Dear Reader,
“To change America, we must cease to react, respond, and even feel as Americans.”
These words from Julius Lester’s Revolutionary Notes came to mind this morning as this writer reached into the ether and grasped for a subject to write about.
They came to mind because of this writer’s obsession with demanding societal change because they are sick of seeing inequity and injustice everywhere.
These words came to mind because, while this writer demands change from the world, they run from it in themself.
It’s time I stopped running from it.
The reality is, until you and I demand change from ourselves, we cannot expect the world around us to change. If society changes before we do, it will only be superficial.
This is why so many feel that the body in the White House is irrelevant. After all, a changing of the guard does nothing to change what’s guarded.
Sure, when 45 ran for office and became the nation’s figurehead, he brought with him a surge in supremacy and hatred. But the former Cheeto-in-Chief didn’t create that hate. All he did was tap the well that has been filling and overflowing since this nation’s founding and give it a new outlet.
In reality, neither 45, nor Obama before, nor Biden after, nor any other president has changed the nature of this nation.
They can’t.
It’s beyond the powers of the Presidency.
The only people who hold the power to change America are the People themselves.
But before the People can change America, or the world, the People must change themselves: I must change myself, and you must change yourself, as must the rest of us. Such is the way of the world.
We know this. But we forget this.
We’ve repeated Gandhi’s saying, “be the change you wish to see in the world,” so often that it’s become a cultural cliché. As a cliché, it’s lost its potency.
We seem to forget that it isn’t some feel good saying meant to remind us of our agency. No. It’s a calling. It’s a demand.
Be the change.
Please keep in mind, I don’t say this to you from a place of self-righteous superiority.
I say this you, dear Reader, as a reminder to myself.
I say this because I’ve studied the Struggle for so long, I almost forgot that the Struggle continues. We are still in the thick of it, and we must continue to fight for change. The most effective way we do that is by changing ourselves.
I say this because I launched Just Progress to create change, but I’ve had to accept that I can’t actually do that. All I can do is share stories of the self-transformation myself and others are undertaking, so we may one day embody the change we fight for.
That’s all we can do.
The necessity of self-development and self-improvement has been on my mind this past week for two reasons – which are really one and the same.
First, because it was my Dad’s 68th birthday last Friday, June 10th.
And second, because he died nearly 8 years ago.
When a sudden heart attack claimed his life in November 2014, depression claimed mine. I had already endured depression for my entire adolescence, but what I descended into was even darker still.
In that darkness, dope was only way I could cope– to use the outdated slang of the 70s for the sake of rhythm and rhyme. In other words, at 19, I started to smoke. Heavily.
At first, I lit up once, maybe twice, a week. As the weeks went by, that was no longer enough to keep darkness sequestered to the corners of my mind, so I burned more weed to brighten my mental prison. I smoked more and more until every day was a drug-filled haze.
There are those, dear Reader, who will be shocked to discover I spent the majority of my 20s high as a kite, day and night.
After all, I still graduated with honors, earned awards, scooped up scholarships, and just generally accomplished a lot.
I share my status as a high achiever (forgive the pun) not as some weird flex, but to lay my struggles bare, so I can be free from the hidden shame of substance abuse.
I share this because I wish to quit.
This is the most challenging change before me.
Despite what some stoners say, weed is indeed addictive. I know because I was addicted. I am addicted. It might not be as harsh an addiction as nicotine, alcohol, or hard drugs. But it’s an addiction all the same.
One that I’m determined to dump.
Over the last 7 years and 7 months, I have spent more days stoned than sober. I’ve walked through life with my mind weighed down, my memory fogged, and my motivation drained. Yet, I have trudged ahead, taken heavy steps, and made progress toward my goals.
I was a runner with a weighted vest on. I knew I could go farther and faster if I cast it off, but I found queer comfort in the weight of it, as though it were a blanket and not a burden.
Rock Lee drops his weights in his fight againt Gaara in Naruto
Nonetheless, with everything I aim achieve, it’s time to shed the weight – like Rock Lee against Gaara –, so I can reach my full potential.
That’s why, on Monday, June 13th, I took my last toke and dumped the remaining weed.
Today is day 5 of my sobriety. It isn’t easy.
Even as I write this, I feel cravings itching at my insides, seeking the simple satisfaction of smoke-filled lungs. But I know, as much as I love to light up, the benefits of temporary relief are outweighed by the burdens of chronic consumption.
Sobriety is the change I committed to 5 days ago, yesterday, today, and will commit to again tomorrow, so I can gain the clarity of mind and spirit that will allow me to change, day by day, in ever greater ways.
This is how I align myself with the path I’m on, so I can be the change.
What can you do to be the change?
Yours in Change,
Syris Valentine
